What a Chemotion...

What a Chemotion...

Chemo... Fuck.

All I knew about chemo therapy was what I’ve seen in the media. 

Hair loss, weight loss (is that a good thing?), fatigue, nausea... 

“Babette, are you getting the Red Devil?” 

“You’re probably getting that red devil one.”

Red Devil? What is the Red Devil? 

“You’re scaring me.”

I always thought Chemo was just... you know... Chemo. 

But it’s not... there are different types of chemo... and with my luck... I got the worst one... this Red Devil everyone kept telling me about and to add to my already worrying mind... remove weight loss as a side effect and please add weight gain, just to piss me off a little bit more, thank you. 

4 Rounds Red Devil.

12 Rounds Taxol. 

This red thing is so bad, I had to get an operation where they implanted a chemo port under my color bone because they don’t want my arteries to cave. 

Hallo Anxiety, welcome back. 

Hallo Hospital room, all alone during Corona. 

I know I am resilient and Brave, but doing this on my own. I never wanted to run away from being independent so bad. 

I didn’t even stay the night, but I was in so much pain, and with my drains, I walked myself out.

I started chemo on the 5th of May. I was crying during the whole session.

Everyone was kind and caring.

I had an enormous headache and the next morning I described it as follows:

So that carried on for about 3 days before I started to feel better (x 4)

Currently I am receiving a weekly low dose of Taxol and I am not experiencing any side effects. I do have anticipation anxiety and my eyebrows are saying goodbye. 
 
But... I am feeling great and enjoying my life at home during lockdown.