In my last blog entry I touched on something I was very proud of. I also mentioned that I would go into more detail in my next blog post… This is that blog post, so here is the more detail I promised;
I QUIT SMOKING.
There, I said it, I was a smoker, have been for many, many years. And out of the blue one day, I quit. I smoked my last cigarette, and whilst I was on my way to actually buy a new pack, I just decided, I’m gonna quit. So I did. There is much more to it than that, trust me. Once again, I’ll possibly get into more detail on it in a later blog, “possibly” being the key word.
It’s been almost a month now since I decided to give up the “bad habit” and I feel terrible. Let me explain…
Since I quit, I have been sick the whole time. I’ve had flu for basically the whole time since I decided to quit. I’m not saying it’s because I quit, just like I’m not saying I feel terrible because I quit, because I don’t. In fact, I feel great and I can honestly say, I don’t miss it at all. I don’t crave it, I don’t feel like it, I literally am free of it, and I feel blessed in that way. I honestly don’t believe I could have done it this easily by myself. I had people routing and praying for me, and I want to thank them.
A lot of seemingly bad things have happened to me these past four weeks. You know where it all started; I’m not going to even repeat that. But, I was talking to a friend the other day and I explained to him, how I feel like doing bad is better than doing okay. Again, let me explain.
This might make me seem like some kind of conspiracy theorist, but I honestly believe that we are being conditioned to be okay.
“If I could just make enough to pay the bills.” “If we can just by groceries this week.” “I just need to get to work and back for the month.” The list goes on and on and on… You get the point. And I am pretty sure some of you can resonate with on of only the few lines I wrote above?
See the thing is, we are blind to these insecurities. We live conditioned, so deep into our own habits that we miss so much of what goes on around us, and how much life we miss.
Time is something we can never get back, right? Well guess what, so is life. Every grain of energy spent is one we can never get back again. We get older, every single day. And yes, life is parallel to time, but in my opinion so much more valuable.
Goethe said: “That moment one definitely commits oneself, the Providence moves too.” I believe this is true, but I also believe that a bunch of other stuff also moves, stuff that wants you not to reach your dream and full potential. And it’s only by defeating or overcoming those, that we actually reach our full potential. See these bad things as the rainbow standing between you and you pot of gold.
I’ve been bad this last couple of week and what I’m about to say next might not make any sense, but I have come to the realisation that being bad is better than being okay. Okay is the single worst place any one person can be. There is nothing good about being okay, even though we feel it is a good space to be in.
I’ve made the decision to not be okay anymore. I’d rather be bad than okay. So I’ll either be good or bad, but you won’t find me playing in that “luke-warm” space anymore.
I hope you realise that you are okay, that it is not okay to be there, what I dangerous place you’re playing in and that you get out of that space. Dream again, dare again and pursue the things that can make you either incredibly happy or immensely sad, because those are the things worth pursuing.
I’ve got some exciting news I’ll be sharing real soon. It might just be in vlog form too!!!
I’m planning on discussing my new schedule in my next blog, I’d love to hear what you think of my planning for my journey to become known.
Thanks for getting this far, if you made it ☺